Dhana had spent most of the day working on the problem that she was required to kill someone. As a pacifist by nature, and always more the victim, it was not something she was overly impressed with. However, last night she had been turned into a vampire by her lover, Eseen, and now the vampire hunter known as the slayer was convinced she'd go insane if she didn't kill.
She didn't think she'd go insane, and the ability to think more like a hunter hadnt kicked in yet either, something that frustrated her. What if Mr. Vampire Hunter was wrong? What if only humans turned vampire needed to kill within 48 hours of being turned? What if her species didn't need this? Though, she had had the time to realise that her own species was very capable of death and would most likely need less than the 48 hour limit to kill before going insane.
The blood lust which was supposed to have come hadn't kicked in either. Yes, hunger had, but she had eaten normal food after she had been banned (luckily) from any blood product prior to killing. The hunger had gone away, though it hadn't been long before it returned.
She had spent the last 10 hours researching, crying and arguing with Eseen. Eseen didn't want to see her get killed, she didn't want to kill and the research was inconclusive. In the end, Eseen had won. Dhana would go and kill. Yes, the kill was an evil person, but it didn't seem to matter to Dhana. People could change, she didn't want to be the reason this one didn't get a second chance.
But, Eseen and David had won. She was here to do what she was not planning on forgiving herself for, all in the name of making someone else happy. So here she was, with Eseen next to her and her hand device on and active, waiting for her target, who just so happened ot show up shortly after she did.
She did look innocent, and vulnerable as she approached the target, a look of sorrow in her eyes. And then the hand device flared up and she raised her hand high enough for the electricity that left it to enter the victim. it was enough to knock them out, to give them the chance of not running away or begging her to not kill them. Once the victim fell down, she walked over to them and bent down, almost as if to check on their breathing.
Only when she got there, something took over. something that could see the victim's blood pumping through its body. And it exited her. She looked up at Eseen with a panick stricken expression. This should not have exited her! This was not normal for her!
Eseen stepped out from the alleyway she had been hiding, watching Dhana from as close as possible. She walked over to her when she rendered her victim unconscious and frowned slightly when she knelt down. She didn't want Dhana to be brought to this, however, she was somewhat glad at how much arguing it took to finally convince her to consider it.
She was sure, as much as she could be, that her mind hadn't been altered too drastically from the change. She never had any issues with ending a life, yet this allowed her to gain some sort of enjoyment from it. This was somewhat unsettling, but that was her burden. The fact it was a burden for her gave her some sense of calm. It was this that made sure she was still herself.
Dhana, however, was different. Something about her change was different. Sonia, Kalia or herself had never been physically altered in the same way Dhana had There were no signs of veins spreading out from where they were bitten, as if something had burrowed through her flesh and left scars. Even marks from the bite, while healed, had still left visible scars.
Her inability to stomach the sight of Eseen drinking blood was odd too. As soon as the first cup was put in front of her, nothing at that moment looked more appetizing. Hopefully, it was the first feed that would fix that. She couldn't bear to be responsible to not only have turned her lover into a monster, but a disfunctional one that had to be forced alive. It had crossed her mind many times during the day that it's plausible Dhana's race just wasn't compatible with vampires.
She placed a hand on Dhana's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. Kneeling down next to her, she let off a brief reassuring smile.
"I know Dhaan. It's exciting, isn't it? The thought of ending this ones life sends chills of anticipation down your spine and you can't wait to sink your fangs in." Her hand slid from her shoulder down her arm and took hold of her hand. "But it's okay. David said this was normal, and I trust that stuck up snobby Englishman with anything vampire related. It's who we are now, biologically wired to enjoy our meals. They just happen to involve killing. Or at least, the first one does anyway. Like a subconscious confirmation you've embraced what you are, because denying it drives you mad.
"But you chose this guy because he wasn't a monster. You chose him because he was a victim of circumstances. So if his life was going to be ended, it was going to be by your hand. So you could do it as painlessly as possible, take the reward for the price on his head and use it to take care of the family he's leaving behind.
"This monster is a part of us now, but it's not who we are. Not who you are, Dhaan. You see the good in everybody and everything. And even faced with the choice between two lesser evils, you made a third option."
Eseen leaned over and took a grip of the unconcious man's body and lifted him upright by his shoulder for Dhana.
Eseen's assurances that this was normal were welcome, though, not for the first time did the stray thought of 'why am I with her?' go through her mind as she once again realised that Eseen had a whole heap less problems with killing than she did.
"It doesn't matter why I chose him, only that I did" She responded to Eseen's mentioning of a third option. Though she did nod at the comment about the 'monster' being part of, but not really who they were.
At that point, she gave in to the sound of blood flowing through the man who's upper body was held up by Eseen and moved her mouth onto his neck. She had to close her eyes and attempt to block out the smell of the man as she bit down into the vein. The moment the blood flowed, she drank. It was not as exhilirating as Eseen had said it would be, nore as she knew it should be judging by various vampire legends. But it was good. It was comforting. It was filling.
She lost track of time as she fed, and lost track of how much blood the man under her mouth was loosing to her, there was a brief moment where she became aware that the man woke, and then the moment was gone.
Eventually, the dark of night stole over her and Eseen, the body beneath her as cold and dark as the night, its life extinguished.
She looked up at Eseen then, a little blood on her jaw, a sign that while she could talk and sing with fangs, drinking was something she was new at. Her eyes though held a piece that would be unexpected for a pacifist.
Eseen let Dhana's hand slip out of hers as she begun drinking. She reached back up and let it rest on her shoulder until she was done. When she pulled away, she rest her hand on Dhana's other shoulder and used her sleeve to wipe the blood off her face.
"Are you okay?" she asked, genuine concern had her voice slightly shakey while she furrowed her brow looking eye to eye with Dhana. "I'm here for you, don't worry."
She leaned in and pulled Dhana towards her in an embrace, panicking for her in the hope that she didn't have to. Eseen had spent less than 24 hours as a vampire and despite Dhana accidentally forcing her to learn more about it than she ever would have bothered researching, she was worried her content demeanor was a sign that something had changed in her lover. Worried that if she didn't remind her of who they were, Dhana might just become the monster she was afraid of.
The question if she was alright was answered with a blank look. She felt content, as though nothing in the world mattered any more.
She let Eseen draw her into the embrace without resistance and it took a bit before she put her arms around her.
"I know you'll always be there for me" She responded softly, unsure of why Eseen would be worried. There seemed to be a fog over her mind which let her not think clearly. It should have bothered her, instead, she was ok with it.
She drew away from Eseen after a bit to look at her, and smiled slightly when she saw a faint glow around Eseen.
"You glow a little" She informed Eseen, then realised. "That man glowed a lot brighter before I took his light" She took a bit longer between forming her next thoughts into words "I wonder if everyone else glows too, or if there was something special about that man"
Eseen remained quiet for a moment, staring into Dhana's eyes. She brushed a hand through her hair to get it off her face and traced a thumb down her cheek along the veins.
"Are you sure you're okay? What do you mean gl-" Her train of thought and words were interrupted as she suddenly saw herself. Staring right into her own blood red eyes with a panicked expression on her face. The glow was there, she could see it. It was only dim, but it seemed to slowly be brightening.
The moment didn't last long and she blinked a few times, regaining her focus on Dhana in front of her.
Eseen tried to shake off the odd feeling and inquisitiveness of what happened. Instead, she focused more on what Dhana had just stated and the guilt kicked in. She leaned in and held Dhana against her tightly, hands flat against her back.
"I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I never wanted to put you in such a position..."
Eseen pulled away slightly. She kept her lips pursed as her eyes darted over Dhana's face, trying to read something, anything of what she knew of her lover. Something wasn't right, different about her.
"Dhaan? Are you okay?"
That wasn't like her. She always lectured her about any use of violence, now she was talking about how taking someone's life was something she might do more often.
"Why would I not be ok?" She asked Eseen, unsure of why her partner had to ask. For the first time ever, she understood what killing could be like, and understood how Eseen could kill. Though something bugged her about that. If killing was as wonderful as it felt to her now, why did Eseen not do it more often?
"Essie, I finally understand what killing someone means and why you can do that sort of thing" She attempted to explain before closing her eyes and smiling while she thought of something.
A short while later, she opened her eyes again and looked at Eseen with eagerness in her eyes
"Shall we find another one? And this time, kill them together?"
Eseen froze at Dhana's reaction. Her eyes slowly widened and she pulled away from her. Rising to her feet, her hand held position over the handle of her magnum and she took a deep breath. This wasn't Dhana. Dhana would never say anything like that so seriously. For the first time Eseen looked at her face, noting the surface scars that fanned out from where she had been bitten and stained her eye blood red. She wondered if her semi monstrous look was an insight to what she had become.
She only had herself to blame. If Dhana had become this monster, it was all her fault. She broke eye contact and glanced at the shadows around the street, wondering, almost hoping David was occupying one of those, watching. This wasn't a situation she had prepared herself for and she doubted any amount of preparation could have helped.
"No Dhana." her voice shook as did her hand when she looked back at her. "We're not. This isnt you..."
She choked up and fell silent, letting the sentence finish itself.
"..me?" She finished the sentence for Eseen, smiling a content smile.
"Yeah it is. We're vampires now, that makes us 'a powerful hunting species evolutionarily conditioned to hunt and drink the blood of humans' as David so eloquently put it"
She had an inkling that she knew what Eseen saw, what was wrong with this entire picture, but could not put her finger on exactly what it was.
"Essie, it's ok." Dhana assured her as she got up and looked at the dead man lying next to her. His glow lost, she was no longer interested in him or the blood which he had given her to survive. Looking at him, she realised that she had killed him with the one weapon that Eseen had feared when they had first met, well, she had feared the hand-device, not knowing that it simply focused her life force.
"Let not that which does not kill, kill"
She mumbled absentmindedly as she looked at the device, more specifically, at the tatoo underneath it, which seemed to have spread further up her arm, no longer something that was easily hidden by the device.
It took her another minute or so to compose herself enough to realise that standing next to a corpse was not a good thing.
"We should go" she pointed out to Eseen, sounding more like herself, that is, if herself had not killed just then. Slowly, as the high from the kill started to wear off, she realised that something had gone wrong, that the high she felt, although feeling good, was not the same thing Eseen felt when she killed.
"What does it feel like when you kill someone?" She asked, sounding innocent again. She guessed Essen had killed before, however, it was not a subject that had been brought up by either side before. It was just that the way Eseen had reacted when she had voiced her desire to share a kill with her that made her ask now.
"We're not going to kill something together." Eseen responded. The tone in her voice shook at first but grew more confident. "The real Dhana would never want to-"
She paused, suddenly realising what Dhana had asked. Her mouth opened and she stumbled a sound, caught off guard and replying on impulse. But her brain failed her and she was left a few moments caught on answering the question rather than the situation.
"It's... I don't feel anything, I mean. It's just something I do. I never really thought about it. I certainly never enjoyed it."
eseens answer seemed to puzzle Dhana who seemed to have no understanding of why anyone would want to kill if they did not enjoy it. Especially now that she had killed and believed it to be enjoyable.
"Not even last night?" The young vampire asked causiouly. She had been under the impression that Eseen had enjoyed all of the evening, but then, she had died that night and the circumstances may well be just a romantic view of what had actually happened.
"Last night was..." Eseen hesitated and averted her eyes as she ran the details of the previous night through her head. Eventually, she spoke up again. "It was different."
"I... didn't want to hurt you, I just had an overpowering urge to..." She stopped and stepped back, letting the sentence finish itself off. She couldn't bear to vocalise those words, admitting to the only person she cared about that at the time, she could think of nothing more enjoyable than draining the life from her.
"Kill?" she asked sounding unsure. "Eseen, what if its normal to kill for us now? What if we are supposed to enjoy it?"
she didnt know who to ask about this type of thing. She knew Sonia would tell her whatever she wanted to hear, and doubted David would give her the answer she needed. And, despite the vampiric stage act occasionally, she did not know other vampires, though possibly, her manager might. She'd have to call them. she would have to call them anyway at some stage to let them know about her new, somewhat unfortunate, time schedule.
It was then that she realised that Eseen had been worried about her apparent like for killing, and she looked at the dead man on the ground. This time, she felt nothing. Neither remorse nor pleasure. Not even gratitute that the man had given her the ability to not go insane.
It made her look at the device on her hand,and turning it over, she made it glow a little. It seemed to come to live easier than it used to. She stopped the glow and looked directly at Eseen.
"We have to kill again. I need to know if we're supposed to enjoy killing"
"We can't just - how many times are you going to...." She stopped. Something in her head just clicked into place
Eseen closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, trying to clear her head. She briefly noted at how odd it seemed to feel. Breathing seemed more like a habit than a necessity now, and trying to sort her thoughts out by doing it seemed to hinder more than help.
She opened her eyes again and took a step forward, reaching out to gently put her hands around Dhana's arms. It might have been a long shot and a wild guess, but maybe what information she needed had been staring her in the face the entire time.
"How do you like the idea of torturing your next victim for a few hours before ending their life?" If she was right, it would explain the apparent distance she suddenly had from her lover after what seemed like moments of feeling closer than ever. If she was right, maybe she couldn't trust that stuck up, snobby English bastard as much as she had.
For a moment, the thought seemed to exite Dhana, but as she turned to face Eseen she looked puzzled.
"Why would we do that?" She asked, her old nature shining through quite clearly. "I thought you said you didn't feel anything when killing, would this make it more fun for you?" She was pretty sure Eseen didn't enjoy that type of thing, then again, until tonight the two of them had never sat down together and talked about what it was that Eseen actually did for a living, Dhana much prefering to not know.
She thought about it a bit more, then decided that if it made her lover happy.
"If you want though, sure." She smiled at the thought of making Eseen happy